Joel , Mrs. Peterson 01


Joel & Mrs. Peterson 01

Like most fall festivals, the Middleton Pumpkin festival lasts all weekend and my encounter with the Olsen sisters was on Friday, the first night, so I had the rest of the weekend, right? Besides, it almost seemed like my latest lady of house, Olivia Olsen wanted me out the house. I mean, that’s crazy, right? But that’s why the festival a beer tent because I didn’t seem to be the only one who needed a place to hang out and socialize while the ladies of the house rummaged around looking for evidence and for things to sell or pawn. I mean, I know that’s crazy, but those are types of thoughts that kept running through my head.

“Hello everyone, I’m Mrs. Peterson from the festival committee and before you all start shaking your heads, I am not the big bad wolf and I’m not going to go all pressure cooker on all of you customers at the Beer Tent. I’m just going to provide you with a gentle reminder of the donation jar on the corner of the Beer Tent bar labelled “Hay Ride” and by the way, I don’t know who wrote “for a good time call” on the bottom of the label. Anyways, we have about three weeks to raise enough donations to support a second Hay Ride trailer for the big Halloween Festival in about three weeks. And I will add that the interest is high for a second Hay Ride trailer with the older teenagers (for some reason), but parents, at least you will know where your teens are (and the place of conception), am I right? Having said that, without any pressure, I’ll leave you all with that everything adds up, so don’t be shy with your change and coins. So, that’s it, folks. Donate if you can and thanks for hearing me out.”

“Oops, Auntie Paulette, oops, oops I say????”

“Oh, yes, sorry. Ah, folks, it’s important that you balance your Hay Ride donations and Beer Tent Bar Keep tips. Ah, my niece Pippa, Beer Tent Bar Keep

, who seems to have chosen quite the risky and revealing costume for a Beer Tent Bar Keep and her friend Yvette, who also seems to have selected a revealing costume tonight, are obviously busting their butts to service everyone, so don’t let the Hay Ride donations take from their tips. So, that’s it, unless anyone has a couple of extra hoodies that my niece and her friend could put on and zip up until the Beer Tent closes.”

“Oops, Auntie Paulette, Oops!!”

“Anyways, I hope everyone enjoy themselves tonight. Festival committee out. Is that what the cool kids say, niece Pippa?”

“Ugh, Auntie Paulette, ugh.”

Damn, that committee lady was giving it her best and she was losing to the constant flow plastic cups of beer, but at least the customers were keeping the tips flowing too. I felt bad that the customers had to find a way to balance their available funds between a beer, the tip and the donation jar all at the same time.

I mean, what was I supposed to do, lean back with my own plastic cup of beer and pretend that I didn’t have money? I mean, the committee lady’s smile and her well maintained body, right? Not to mention that it probably wasn’t easy for her to present her case to the large crowd at the Beer Tent. Oh, and not to mention that I had a few beers myself, which made it very easy for me to speak, which may have been more like yelling. You know the beer voice level thing, right?

“Busty Beer Tent Bar Keeps and Committee Lady, I’ll buy a round of beer for each of your customers who throws a little something in the donation jar and my offer lasts for the next hour that the Beer Tent is open and if the two Busty Beer Tent Bar Keeps help push the donation campaign, then I promise, your tips will be a lot fatter than both of your boyfriend’s tips, who I’m praying are not standing behind me right about now because I’m not sure why I added that last part to my statement. Other than I’m stupid from time to time. So, please, tell me that the boyfriends are not standing behind me with baseball bats. Please. Also, am I yelling? I feel like I’m yelling.”

Clink, clink, dollar swoosh, clink, dollar swoosh, clink.

“Wow, that’s very generous of you sir, so thanks. I’m Mrs. Peterson, if you didn’t catch that earlier when I was also yelling at the drunks, I mean the Beer Tent customers and holy smokes by the way, wow, I picked a bad to be a Mrs., not that you need worry about me. Oh, ah, oh my, and by the most important way, ah, you heard me say that Bar Keep Pippa was my niece, right? So, eyes on me, Mr. Generous.”

“Oops. Oh, hey, ah, yay for more Hay Rides, right? Joel, by the way, so let’s talk about how full your mature and saggy breasts are, I mean how full your donation jar is becoming. Ah, yeah, the jar, it’s a big jar.”

“Come on, Joel, when I said eyes on me, I meant a little higher, that’s it, just a little higher, you’re almost there, there you go, momma has blue eyes, alright then, well, well, well, hello Joel, I am very pleased to make your acquaintance.”

“Same. I’m Joel, by the way, ah, again. Am I still yelling? I feel like I’m yelling.”

“Hmmm, hold that thought Joel or my isveçbahis yeni giriş hips seeing you’re holding them anyways while I take care of a little more business. Yoo-hoo, fat Hank, oops, sorry, ah, over weight Hank, keep good track of the sales so that we charge Mr. Generous a fair price and Beer Tent Bar Keeps, I think I heard this wonderful young man say that he would buy two rounds for every piece of paper in the jar, right? I thought I heard that, did you hear that niece Pippa? I mean, I have two hips and Joel clearly likes the both, so two free rounds of beer and some paper in the jar, right?”

“Heard, Auntie Paulette, heard. Yvette and I are pushing the campaign and pushing our creamy and fleshy cleavage, I say, pushing the campaign and fleshy cleavage, heard, Auntie Paulette, heard. I mean, oops, sorry Auntie Paulette, but our costumes are defective and they didn’t come with enough shirt buttons, so, oops Auntie Paulette????”

“Hmmm. To be young again with creamy chest skin, hmmm.”

Dollar swoosh, dollar swoosh, dollar swoosh, clink. Seriously? A clink?

“Whew, we’re sweating Auntie Paulette, but we’re pushing through it because Yvette and I heard your wonderful young stud mumbling about his big fat tip, right Auntie Paulette (who is still married)?”

“Oh, heard niece Beer Tent Bar Keep Pippa, heard. Oh, and I heard what you mumbled, I say, heard what you mumbled under your breath.”

Wow, seriously? Another cat fight and from within the family circles? I mean, cool. But I had to get things back on track. Also, over weight Hank is really fat Hank, no matter politically incorrect that may be.

“It’s OK busty Beer Tent Bar Keep niece Pippa, Mrs. Peterson told me straight away she that she’s married, not that I should be yelling that out loud, you know what, busty Beer Tent Bar Keep Pippa, ah, just cut me off. I mean, from the beer. Ah, you know what, I’m just to shut it now. Am I yelling? I still feel like I’m yelling.”

“Auntie Paulette, your illegal and risky boyfriend, Mr. Generous, might need a walk to get a breath of fresh air. Heard Auntie Paulette?”

“Heard niece Pippa, heard. Shall we, Joel? Fresh air is this way.”

“Oops, Auntie Paulette, oops! The poker tent is that way and your hubby is probably playing poker, so fresh air is the other way, heard? Also, is it sex if a customer licks the sweat beads from Yvette’s exposed cleavage?”

“Oops, heard costume wardrobe malfunction niece Pippa, heard. Joel, I meant, please, we should go this other way for better fresh air, down the dark walkway, towards the benches, in the dark.”

Oh, this was going to work out in my favor alright. I had an amazing committee lady leading me by the arm to somewhere quiet and our walkway path allowed me to keep on eye on the costume wardrobe malfunctions for a few steps and I had my hands on the committee lady’s ass and her mafia connected hubby was forcing people to lose to him in the poker tent and there was no way that fat Hank was going to properly keep up with all the plastic cups of beer that were constantly flowing. I mean, everything seemed to be working in my favor, am I right about that my friends, am I right? Also, am I still yelling? I felt as if I still yelling.”

Also, southern festivals are the best and they should be a model for all others. Especially since they provide benches to sit on that seemed to be hidden from view of the main festival grounds. Ah, for another also, LOL, it almost seemed like you had to take a number to get a bench seat.

“So, Mrs. Peterson, you’re married and all, right? By the way, that’s all I got, so you talk now.”

“Hmmm, yes, I am married Joel, but not very happily and maybe for not for long. Anyways, right now, we’re just two adults who are catching a little fresh air, that’s all. Besides, you are barely poking around my body with your hands and rubbing your crotch on the outside of your pants, so it’s innocent Joel, innocent I say.”

Hmmm, she says “I say” a lot, right?

“So, I’m technically married and you’re what? Going steady? Have a lady of the house? Sharing a “relationship” bed with someone special? And be honest with me Joel, honest I say. I mean, how old is this fat cock, I mean, how old are you? 23 or so? I would expect females in your life.”

Ah, damn it, everyone knows that a guy on prowl can’t answer any of those questions! Besides, the rule book of Joel vs Every Middleton MILF clearly states that it’s a foul to corner Joel, am I right about that? And yes, I’m right about that because I wrote the rule book.

“I’m sorry Joel, I know that I just put you on the spot with those questions, so you don’t have to answer any of them, however, while we a little privacy and we’re two adults just getting a breath of fresh air, is there another place we can go, like your SUV to breathe in all that fresh air? I mean, sooner or later, the other pressure cooker committee ladies are going to come looking for me and we shouldn’t get caught like this and isveçbahis giriş by that, I mean, wow, did you just unbutton my shorts without me knowing it? That was pretty slick, Joel, pretty slick I say. I’m not complaining, I mean, as your new woman and all.”

Whew, right? I love me some MILF who lets me off the hook from uncomfortable questions and by the way, ah, she helped me unbutton her shorts because I was buzzed and fumbling around with the button. Also, I need to buy a larger SUV. Am I yelling my brain thoughts? I feel like I’m yelling.

“Alright Joel, I get that you’re nervous that I’m a married woman and all, but trust me, I haven’t let that lousy no-good southern mafia boss man touch me in years and as soon as the science lab cleans up the grainy door bell video I have that shows my lousy no-good cheating faggot soon to be ex-husband acting as the man meat in the middle of a faggot man sandwich with Butch Jr. fucking his mouth and Butch Sr. fucking him in the ass, well, Joel, I won’t be married for long. A man meat sandwich, Joel, a man meat sandwich, I say! Oh, and to make matters worse, OMG, none of the sandwich sauce leaked out Joel, none of it, I say!”

See? She still says a lot of stuff.

“Alright, Mrs. Peterson, you win and the truth is that I can’t sneak you into my house tonight. I may have a lady of the house who is probably cleaning me out as we speak or as I finger play with backside.”

“Oh, I figured that Joel, I mean, you’re a young man and you’re very handsome, so I would expect that there is a lady of the house, for now. By the way, I’ve been out of touch, so is there a name for the way you’re sawing between my butt cheeks with your fingers? And don’t be afraid to make that our thing. It’s kind of nice and thank you for keeping your fingers out of the other things, you know, down there, for now. And if I forgot to say, um, whatever that is, it should be our thing, our thing I say.”

“So, what are the chances of your bra coming off before you suck my fat cock dry, Mrs. Peterson? And how much time do you need to do that?”

Swish, pull, swoosh, pull.

“There and I assume that you want me to leave my tits out for you? My married tits? Will they still work for you when I lean over your front seat and drop my head down on your fat unmarried cock? Will you like it if I grind my saggy tit flesh into your bare thighs as I swallow your fat cock?”

Huh? I was beginning to think that someone had leaked a copy of the Joel vs Every Middleton MILF to Chang because lately, a lot of women seemed to know exactly what I wanted without me saying much and yes, I’m right about that. Oops, I’m right, I say.

“Joel, like I said, I haven’t been sexually active for a while, so feel free to chip in with a little gyration or thrusting from your hips. I mean, we’re short on time and all, right?”

“Oh, I’m chipping in alright, now let me kiss your titties before you make a mess of me and then just go ahead and shove your bra under the seat. That bra is mine now, mine I say.”

Note to self, buy a bigger SUV, you know, if I didn’t mention that already. Did I beer voice yell that?

“Wow, when you chip in, OMG, you really chip in! Not that I’m complaining, I mean, wow Tiger, you got hip movement game! Anyways, I’ll get better as we cheat behind everyone’s back, so don’t lose my number, stud. Keep my number, I say.”

“Speaking of the number that you haven’t given me yet, ah, your phone has been blowing up since I hypnotized you with my fingers between your amazing butt cheeks as we walked to my SUV.”

“Yeah, it’s niece Pippa, but never mind her right now. We need to quickly review a few things now that I sucked your cock and swallowed your cum in your SUV like the younger adults do. First, I’ll watch what type of shorts I wear next time because OMG, that butt crack finger thing is definitely going to be our thing. Also, there is going to be a “next time” right Joel, a next time, I ask?”

“Heard, there will be a next time, Mrs. Peterson.”

“Ah, my belly is full of your cum, which was an amazing 34 seconds, so call me Paulette.”

“Ah, that was 45 seconds Paulette, but we won’t quibble. I like to kiss a lot, Mrs. Peterson.”

“And I’ll kiss back, Joel.”

“I can go a lot of times.”

“I figured, 51 seconds at a time, and I’m going to love each and every time you do me.”

“And then you swallowed me, twice, I say, so???”

“So, I’m your woman now. Ah, a woman who hasn’t seen her “relationship” bed yet, but we won’t quibble about how long it will take for your current lady of house to leave.”

“Alright then, so we should get back to your busty niece Pippa.”

“We should and according to her 71 texts, LOL, you owe her a lot of money, but none of your tip, please. Your personal big fat tip stays with me, your new (married) woman.”

Damn, a woman with all the answers, right? It actually makes life easier when they download a pirate copy of the rule book.

“How long before isveçbahis güvenilirmi you are officially divorced, Paulette? I can’t go on without you much longer.”

“How long before the lady of the house moves on?”

“Oops. Call it even?”

“Hmmm, oops you say, huh? It’s as if you actually know my niece Pippa, so we’ll call it even for now, Joel. Good, now get sloppy my tits for a quick minute and then let’s get a move on, make my tits sloppy I say.”

Well, if you read back a few more blogs, I mean, I’m engaged to everyone anyways, right? And OMG, was the beer tent crazy or what when we arrived back! Wow, dudes who like fleshy cleavage and beer, right?

“Finally, Auntie Paulette! I was beginning to think that you got lost and maybe forgot that you’re a married woman, so let me smell your breath, Auntie Paulette. Not that I would know what a man’s cum would smell like or anything. Oops, not that I know what the cum means either.”

“Nope. I mean, oops. Twice. Oops.”

“Let me collect my big fat tip from your secret boyfriend behind the beer tent then.”


“Auntie Paulette! I need some oops too! I mean, what exactly is “oops” Auntie Paulette, who is good at keeping family secrets from my mom.”

“Ah, your lip gloss is already a mess, not that I would mention that when I have tea with your mom tomorrow afternoon in the ladies Gossip Tea Tent.”

“Ooh, then I can collect a little of our big fat “oops” tip behind the Beer Tent because I’m not family, right?”

“Yvette, nope. And is that niece Pippa’s lip gloss shade smeared between your creamy and fleshy cleavage? Geez, don’t answer that, so how’s my donation jar looking?”

“Well, it’s more like a barrel now, so good job with the “oops”, I guess, Pippa’s Auntie Paulette.”

“Yup. And by the way Yvette, it’s polite to trade back, so I’ll just walk Tiger Joel back to his SUV so he can leave (me another load) and by the way, back in my day, I would trade back double. Not that I’m noticing that niece Pippa’s creamy and fleshy cleavage has a lack of smeared lip gloss all up in there. I mean, the extra tips, right? Ah, oops, I think I say.”

Hmmm, is there such a thing as a reverse cat fight, like a sexy reverse cat fight?

“Meow, Pippa’s Auntie Paulette, meow.”

Well, I’m calling it sexy reverse cat fight and I already updated the rule book, so there.

“Joel, I’m willing to take the tree line walk back to your SUV. I need it, I know you want it, I know you’re ready again, I’m safe today and I’ll plead lust crazy if we get busted. Do me doggie against a tree Joel, make me pant and moan. My loins are burning for you Joel, burning I say.”

“Only my woman would be willing to take such a risk, so OK.”

And ooh, la, la, sex in the tree line was quite exciting and there was very little risk of us getting busted because, well you know right, it was over in 51 seconds, so, you know, right?

“Wow, whoa, doggie is our new thing, Joel. Tongue kiss me good and deep, Joel and then go chase down Yvette because she captured that on her phone video. But I was a good doggie for you, right Joel? I was good pussy for you for the entire 22 seconds, right baby?”

“Yeah, baby, that was amazing tree doggie sex.”

“Good, now listen, because you just came in my pussy, that makes me your official new woman, even though I’m still married, but I’m going to need you to work on removing your current lady of the house because there is no way in hell that I’m calling this our ‘relationship” tree, OK baby?”

“Consider it done, Paulette. Besides, it’s been about 24 hours, so you know, right? She’s probably gone already, but I’ll check on that.”

“Good, now before I go find my lousy no-good cheating faggot mafia connected soon to be ex-husband, let me just clean your cock off with my mouth because if my niece Pippa doesn’t know what a man’s cum smells like on a woman’s breath, then most certainly she won’t know what the mixture of cum and pussy juice smells like either. Am I right about that, Joel?”

“Well, LOL, we’ll find out, Paulette, we’ll find out. Also, Yvette already posted a meme without your face, but I don’t support her banner of “dem meaty pussy lips” whatsoever. Anyways, get to cleaning me, woman. LOL, and just stay down on your knees for a moment because I’m to blow again already, blow again, I say.”

“Let me see that meme! Damn, wow, do I look that good bending over? I still have it, right Joel?”

“Well, you do still have and then I had it and now I own it, so go get to work on cleaning up that grainy video of your faggot hubby on his hands and knees while he was taking it like champ from Butch Sr. and Butch Jr. and let’s get our engagement on track.”

“Oh, Joel, I love you, Joel. I promise, as the new woman in your life, you will never go to bed in our yet unseen “relationship” bed horny and I promise my full, yet sagging titties will always be available to you, always available to you I say, Joel, always available for you to suck and knead as you please.”

My bed post or LOL, my tree trunk is running out of spots to add another notch. So, when I made my way back to Beer Tent to settle up my tab, LOL and the tab of all the others, well, I used my phone and ordered a larger SUV and a new four post bed too.

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